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(10-26-2015, 03:47 PM)HeadHoncho Wrote: GN-GI
To the Great King Stonethrower, Lord of the Peaks and Commander of the Ever Victorious Army,
Mighty One, we have received your recent declarations with great interest! Though my own liege is far more subtle than myself, I, Bottlenose, the diplomatic liaison for the Gnomes, have always believed that openness and honesty are most helpful qualities for productive discussions regarding matters of state.
You see, our own plans had been to move on Esteria Vale this very month. This was considered all the more important due to the reality of sharing our home region of Runnimede with the mysterious and powerful Underworld.
With that said, instead of moving on Esteria Vale, we would be happy to put our own interests aside and fully support your claim to Arcania, especially in the furtherance of friendship between our distinguished Kingdoms.
As a friend, we would hope that we could retain our own village in Arcania. We would also humbly request your assistance, Mighty One, in obtaining control of our own traditional homelands, if you would be so kind as to share with us certain farmlands you control in Runnimede?
We know that you normally desire southern farmlands to help feed your powerful troops, but in light of your recent proclamation, I trust that many of your bold citizen-farmers will already be flocking from Runnimede to nearby Arcania, which should hopefully provide a strong economic base for you in the south already.
If you are amenable to granting this small indulgence, you would certainly find a fast and loyal friend in the Gnomish Alchemical Monarchy! We eagerly await your reply, and until then, we remain
Your Diminutive Diplomatic Denizens of the Dell,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes
GI---->GN
These terms are acceptable. Give me a month or two and we'll figure out a way I can turn over my Runnimede village to you.
-This Khal Drogo, it's said he has a hundred thousand men in his horde
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10-27-2015, 05:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2015, 05:42 PM by HeadHoncho.)
GN-GI
Great King Stonethrower,
We rejoice in your kind and gracious reply, and wish you well in Arcania!
If there is any possible way you could inform me of the location next month (T2), I would pledge to send a peaceful emissary the following month (T3), before papering the land transfers the month after that (T4). So you would receive the village's full production through the end of Autumn.
Again, my sincere thanks on behalf of the Gnomish Alchemical Monarchy!
Yours in Friendship,
Bottlenose
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(10-27-2015, 05:42 PM)HeadHoncho Wrote: GN-GI
Great King Stonethrower,
We rejoice in your kind and gracious reply, and wish you well in Arcania!
If there is any possible way you could inform me of the location next month (T2), I would pledge to send a peaceful emissary the following month (T3), before papering the land transfers the month after that (T4). So you would receive the village's full production through the end of Autumn.
Again, my sincere thanks on behalf of the Gnomish Alchemical Monarchy!
Yours in Friendship,
Bottlenose
GI-GN
Agreed
-This Khal Drogo, it's said he has a hundred thousand men in his horde
DA ---> RA
Hail Ruler of the Distinguished Ranger Kingdom. I am the emissary of the True Elves, my name is unimportant.
Since our kingdoms are affected by differing seasons my glorious liege proposes we maintain our population in each other’s areas of influence. These population centers are not to be bothered or interfered with until our kingdoms mutually agree that this situation no longer suits our purposes.
I await your reply.
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(UN)
Greetings Comrades!
It is everyone’s favorite frenemy, the Shadow Master of the Underworld. Why am I your frenemy? Because if you pay me, I am yours to command. And if you don’t, well, all choices have consequences, don’t they?
But it is important for everyone to know what exactly they can pay for and what they get for their gold. So I welcome you , one and all, to the Alamaze Covert services Mega Emporium!
There are three main products on offer, codenamed Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Herpes.
Chlamydia will ward off the incidental depredations of bored Underworld agents. The main hobbies of Underworld agents are kidnapping , theft of food or gold, and theft of artifacts. (Unsanctioned assassinations are absolutely forbidden – no one pays ransom on a corpse!) For the low price of 1000 gold per month per hobby(ie-3000 gold in total), you can be immune to Chlamydia. (Note: A single large payment can be made to provide immunity for multiple months.)
Gonorrhea engages the services(or lack thereof) of Underworld agents on your behalf. We are absolutely thrilled to be spreading Gonorrhea throughout Alamaze! Engagement of these services is done through competitive bidding. Want the Underworld to attempt an assassination of that pesky baron? Make the minimum bid! Want that baron to stay safe? Bid higher! A list of available agents will be made available every month. (Note: you are not paying for the success of the mission, but the attempt)
Herpes is our educational assistance program. If you did not already know, all agents throughout Alamaze attend our accredited training symposiums. We are now allowing you, our dear customers, to dictate the costs of that program. While it will take four months to get up and running, we will be accepting bids to determine whether training costs go up or down. Simply bid to either have costs go up, go down, or stay the same. The option with the most bid gold wins.
We also hope to roll out Syphillis – competitive bidding for current “guests” of the Underworld – soon.
But how do you pay ACME for these wonderful products? I’m glad you asked. There are three main payment options:
1) Declare UN an ally and gift the gold directly to us.
2) Arranged to trade the gold to us for 1 food. (Note: A processing fee of 1000 gold will be assessed for each trade.)
3) A population center can be provided by you to us, and the gold production of said PC will accrue to your account for as long as the PC remains the Underworld’s possession.
Announcements specific to our Gonorrhea and Herpes product lines will be made shortly. Thanks for shopping ACME!
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10-27-2015, 08:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-27-2015, 09:00 PM by Vulkar.)
DW-WA
Greetings Red Warlock,
I'm appreciative of the peaceful tidings brought to us by your emissary.
I don't foresee anything that would lead our nations to war, and I have no designs on Amberland, however I don't think a formal pact in which I might be obligated to render protection is in my best interests at this time. I shall retain a neutral stance until I better understand what threats my kingdom faces.
Dwarven King
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Interesting issue arises on two fronts. Diplomacy must be public, but I am thinking specific information does not need to be?
For instance, some folks are swapping pop centers. Surely, they need not tell the entire world where those are, but only the trading partner.
Second, the UN will provide services for a price. Surely, one does not tell the world that Baron Yufonsis at CS should be killed next turn. That would be not so useful.
Just thinking out loud here....
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(10-26-2015, 09:13 PM)HeadHoncho Wrote: GN-UN
Just following up on my last correspondence to you, in case my messenger was intercepted. I've noticed that quite a few of my couriers have failed to make it to their destinations, thus necessitating additional messages. Moreover, ravens are everywhere and the hair on the back of my Gnomish neck have been standing on end more recently than usual, indicating the possibility of scrying. It is almost as if everyone is eavesdropping, everywhere!
Regardless, with the Giant King's declaration and rumors of the Warlock King's acceptance, my impression is that we may be moving to an era of mutual defenses and alliances. I remain interested in working closely with you, and if you have other thoughts or suggestions, by all means, I am open to them.
Finally, given that neither of us has fleet-footed troops, it may be helpful to make sure we aren't searching the same areas of Runnimede. I am currently concentrating on the west, and the northeast, including the northern mountains. Would you be able to look in areas such as the center, the center of the southern mountain range, the eastern part of the forest, and the eastern desert? Just let me know what works best for you, and I will do my best to adapt.
Yours Truly,
Bottlenose, for the Gnomes (UN)
My apologies for not responding sooner. I have been quite busy making business plans. I have a feeling that a golden age of prosperity is upon us! Well, as long as this "alliance" disease doesn't spread too far.
My preference at this point would be to avoid an alliance or mutual defense, as either could interfere with my current business venture. But coordinating the search of Runnimede seems eminently sensible, and I would say this coordination has earned you the Chlamydia package at no cost. I believe I would be able to cover the eastern forest and the desert this coming month.
CEO of ACME
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(10-25-2015, 04:26 AM)Vulkar Wrote: The Dwarven Lords of the Talking Mountains
The general's voice echoed loudly across the steep and distant walls of the King's council chamber.
"I implore you your grace, we must make haste for the portal and take our forces to the mountains of Runnimede! Only there can we hunt and kill the greedy Gnome, who so covets our precious gold! It must be our first priority!"
"We have but four brigades, General", Count Oraz replied. "Your grace, as your economic advisor, I must insist we first secure the Talking Mountains and establish our economic strength first."
"Preposterous!" bellowed the General. "It's Gnomish blood our people want, and they want it now! Not until our ranks are smashing the bones of Gnomish children shall we..." "Enough, General" interrupted the wizard Karizan. There will be time enough or vengeance, now is the time to mine the gold in the mountains and research the magics that shall allow us to prosper."
"Magic? Magic is for fools, Karizan. We're far better off developing our covert capabilities", countered agent Sword.
Silence fell upon the hall as the General's face darkened in anger. In the dim light of the great hall, the Dwarven King lifted his head. "Duke Seville, you've been quiet. War is quickly brewing in Alamaze, and we are surrounded by enemies. As my political adviser, what is your counsel?"
"Your grace, the Red Dragon has not been seen and doesn't seem to threaten our towns and villages. I'd heed the advice of your economic advisor and secure the mountains along with it's ample supply of gold. We should then leverage our economic strength to recruit more armies, hire more emissaries and develop friendships and alliances, thus preparing for a long campaign against any enemies that reveal themselves to us."
The King pondered his adviser's words while the wizard Karizan quietly attempted with some success to cast a spell of uncontrolled flatulence against the belligerent general.
"I've heard your counsel. We shall secure the mountains and open a dialogue with those races around us to see who shall be our friends and who shall be our foes. Send the first raven to the master of assassins, and offer him a bounty on the heads of the Gnomes." The King's advisers nodded in pleasant agreement, except the General, who sat uncomfortably trying to contain his sudden gastrointestinal discomfort.
"Gladly, your grace, I shall send a raven at once." answered Agent Sword, before hustling from the great hall.
(DW-UN)
Master of Assassins,
I bid your people good luck through the coming strife.
Our people are strong miners, and we have the gold with which you may grow your kingdom. I wish to offer a bounty on Gnomish heads, for the Gnome is a greedy, devious, amoral and treacherous creature. The Dwarven kingdom shall pay 5k gold for wizards, emissaries above the rank of governor and agents above level 4, 10k for the King/Queen, and 2k gold for lower emissaries, agents and adepts. It's my hope this bounty will encourage you to develop your covert skills at the expense of our natural enemy.
The King of the Dwarves
(UN)
Sounds like you might be interested in our Gonorrhea package. Details will be coming soon!
CEO of ACME, Shadowmaster of the Underworld
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(10-25-2015, 11:06 PM)Jumpingfist Wrote: (10-25-2015, 03:25 AM)Thudargh Wrote: (UN-AN)
Greetings my musty and Ancient comrade! I have heard whispers that you are seeking peace with the Underworld. All things can be had for a price. The exact cost depends on what you mean by peace. Are you looking for an immunity from specific depredations? For a particular amount of time? Do you wish to pay extra so that others can't overbid your contract?
AN-UN
Master of Shadows, We seek immunity from actions against our kingdom, nobles and agents until the end of the next three full spring seasons(T34). Likewise we will offer the same towards your kingdom and peoples. Although this already would benefit both our kingdoms we are willing to offer the first covert artifact we divine which we will divine and acquire at my own expense, to be delivered before springs end. (UN)
Immunity from UN sponsored activity would be covered under our Chlamydia package and would cost 102,000 gold for the duration you suggest. I'm not certain any artifact is worth that amount. I'm afraid there is no guaranteed immunity to our Gonorrhea package - only a golden prophylactic can protect against that. You are welcome to make a preventative deposit, or wait until such protection is truly needed.
CEO of ACME, Shadowmaster of the Underworld
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