It may seem obvious but I have found the most critical decision I have to make that will lead to my enjoyment and success is the type of game I join. I am not a politician, I am a strategist, so Anonymous games are the best fit for me. I like to develop my kingdoms based on their strengths and use those strengths to beat my opponents.
There are other players who are great at diplomacy and they will win games by developing a team that out numbers and crushes the other kingdoms in the game. When in these games I tend to be on smaller teams and feel very frustrated. These games are not a good fit for me.
Narrowing the game styles to only two variants is probably too simplistic but in my case the Anonymous versus full Diplomacy difference is the biggest differentiation to me.
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I am not so great at diplomacy either. I just can't put the time or effort into regular communication and I find it easier to play when I don't have to take other player's needs and wants into consideration.
I will play another diplomacy game in the future, but I am content with anonymous now.
Don't play a Warlords game unless you are really prepared to play three kingdoms in the same game. That sounds like a no-brainer, but you have to do three sets of orders, coordinate all three, and stick with all three even when the game isn't going well.
Lord Diamond
Please do not take any of my comments as a personal insult or as a criticism of the game 'Alamaze', which I very much enjoy. Rather, I hope that my personal insight and unique perspective may, in some way, help make 'Alamaze' more fun, a more successful financial venture, or simply more sustainable as a long-term project. Anyone who reads this post should feel completely free to ignore, disregard, scorn, implement, improve, dispute, or otherwise comment upon its content.
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If your a player that does not want to hang it out for the end game when you have clearly lost the game, you should likely stick to anonymous games. Once you build a reputation as a quiter when beaten down others will begin to attack you from the start knowing if they can shatter the glass jaw they can rest easy after you quit. Anon games you will still build the same reputation but knowbody will know your kingdom during anyone game.
Also if you know your this type of player please do not play warlords or magic formats you are in effect wasting other players money as the game becomes much less enjoyable in those formats when players quit.