5302 - Forum diplomacy with every turn result that ends a season

[Brekk]

Old grumpy man by the sea,

I am so sorry my intended invasion did not go as planned and messed up your water lilies. My behavior in LATE WINTER of year 1202 was clearly unacceptable, and I've already taken steps to understand why I acted in such an aggressive manner and how I can keep something like this from happening again. Running around Zamora yelling “It’s on like Donkey Kong” was a tad premature, and as you have repeatedly stated after 7 and past your bed time. I have currently started seeing a therapist and have enrolled in an anger management course, as the mediator suggested.
I hope that our relationship can return to its prior status of you pretending to be a walking corpse who hates children, and me just the brat next door. If not, I completely understand and we can just avoid interacting with each other in the future. Please let me know how I can support your wishes to that end.


Sincerely,

Brek

[The Painted Man]

Old grumpy man by the sea,

I am so sorry my intended invasion did not go as planned and messed up your water lilies. My behavior in LATE WINTER of year 1202 was clearly unacceptable, and I've already taken steps to understand why I acted in such an aggressive manner and how I can keep something like this from happening again.  Running around Zamora yelling “It’s on like Donkey Kong” was a tad premature, and as you have repeatedly stated after 7 and past your bed time. I have currently started seeing a therapist and have enrolled in an anger management course, as the mediator suggested.
I hope that our relationship can return to its prior status of you pretending to be a walking corpse who hates children, and me just the brat next door.  If not, I completely understand and we can just avoid interacting with each other in the future. Please let me know how I can support your wishes to that end.


Sincerely,

Brek

Kid,

Took you long enough.

I believe this satisfies my remaining requirement to not chase you back into your region and to leave your remaining emissaries alone. This includes the count that you have just sitting idly by at your minor city. When he showed up last month we started making more room in our basement. He was going to have to double-up with one of your governors due to space constraints.

To conclude our business in the coming months of silence, final steps to be taken:
1) I am declaring you neutral this turn. You'll probably need to do the same. You can declare me an ally after next month if you want to have that warm and fuzzy feeling, but it won't be reciprocated and it's likely not necessary.
2) Next turn I send back little E in exchange for 1 gold.
3) The turn after that I send back big E in exchange for 1 gold.
4) In 3 months time, you will be sending me entirely too much cheese and yogurt that is a week or so past its expiration date and therefore 'inedible' to you kids. We should be able to talk then, so can finalize details, but the gist is that you'll be covering all food production lost during your attempt at conquering the unconquerable. 
5) Trade for the key at some point. We can finalize details the next time I'm allowed to gloat as I believe we can only do one trade per turn anyways.

Don't forget that you owe me two votes. I trust that you'll be able to figure out what to do in the next two months without my guidance (hint: vote FOR me). 

Now if you don't mind, I just found where I had left my ham radio before we sunk the city.

And stay out,
Atlantis Morissette

[DuPont]

Atlantis Morissette, you need a bath. Better go sink your city pronto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDEPexjrh0o

[The Painted Man]

Atlantis Morissette, you need a bath. Better go sink your city pronto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDEPexjrh0o

Sea lions!

[Valuthor]

Sssss - Black Dragonssss not communicating but on doorssstepsss, time to prepare for the worssse.

[Son of Conan]

Sssss - Black  Dragonssss not communicating but on doorssstepsss, time to prepare for the worssse.

Please tell me you are kidding about my being on your doorstep. You have moved emissaries into all of my villages and some towns in Mythgar. You are the invader, not the victim.
We agreed you could keep your town in my region if you secured an artifact for me. You did not secure the artifact. Whether it was your fault or not, your town was not therefore protected so I took it since you offered me nothing in replacement of the lost artifact.
Then you moved a ton of emissaries into Mythgar. I would love to not fight an enemy early as it does hurt us both, but I can't just sit and let you invade, now can I?

[Strylian]

Atlantis Morissette, you need a bath. Better go sink your city pronto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDEPexjrh0o

Atlantis has upstaged our show!! We must work harder.

[Valuthor]

We had not planned on usssing out emisssaries , our neighborsss all around usss get the sssame precautionary treatment.  In fact we plan to ssspread our emisssaries to every village we crossed.   Call it back up planss four our kind knowsss how fasssyt the world can turn on usss.

We are not afraid to die, we promissse you dragonsss will die ssshould you attack.

Out ordersss are in but can be changed if the remaining kingdomsss ssstay ssslow to prepare.

[The Painted Man]

Sssss - Black  Dragonssss not communicating but on doorssstepsss, time to prepare for the worssse.

Please tell me you are kidding about my being on your doorstep. You have moved emissaries into all of my villages and some towns in Mythgar. You are the invader, not the victim.
We agreed you could keep your town in my region if you secured an artifact for me. You did not secure the artifact. Whether it was your fault or not, your town was not therefore protected so I took it since you offered me nothing in replacement of the lost artifact.
Then you moved a ton of emissaries into Mythgar. I would love to not fight an enemy early as it does hurt us both, but I can't just sit and let you invade, now can I?

If you need to borrow my hose, let me know. Visitors are never welcome.

[The Painted Man]

Atlantis Morissette, you need a bath. Better go sink your city pronto.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDEPexjrh0o

Atlantis has upstaged our show!! We must work harder.

We are the best. PERIOD.