102 - Gnome Season

[kevindusi]

Fellow Monarchs,

Tired of steadily increasing taxes? Overwhelmed with accusations against your poor, defenseless agents? Sick of being the target for kingdoms that think their troops can take your capital? Aren't we all... but there is a solution! Join me against the ultimate in tyranny, the Gnome! Not only has he attempted to soil my good name repeatedly, he has also sent troops against the defenders of my very capital. This behavior can not be tolerated!! I hereby announce that it is open season on the Gnome kingdom in Alamaze 102. Any proof of harm done to him, information about his kingdom, or contributions to the anti-Gnome cause will be repaid by favors from available agents, gold, or cleverly crafted haiku poetry about how the gnomes are evil, evil beings that deserve nothing but the Maker's scorn. No longer shall we be subject to their tyranny!

Mister Gnome, you have gone too far this time. How dare you, sir.

The Deliverer
Underworld 102

[Jumbie]

I suspect the Gnome has more gold to offer rewards for your head...

[Lord Thanatos]

I suspect the Gnome has more gold to offer rewards for your head...

Ah yes, the GN is awash in gold. Plenty of wizards and a fine city...

In keeping with the bellicosity of the damnable UN - any kingdom who harms the UN or RD or simply provides information about these underhanded slumlords shall be justly rewarded.

The poor GN mistress - didn't ever promote one of them to Queen - that gave birth after the vile UN agent's visit is now a shunned outcast. You should see how ugly that child she gave birth to is. We gnomes take pride in being able to see in the dark and eat damn near anything, even tough, stringy red dragon meat. But that ugly, squalling UN infant isn't really good for anything. We would have thrown the useless thing away, but the wizards inform me that the child actually has the same blood as the UN king and will work perfectly for various incantations and the like.

Apparently the UN king, like his agents, will sleep with damn near anything. Keep your sheep in their pens, lords. Lock up those little troll girls. And I would bet that the foolish UN king would even sleep with those dirty elves.

While I failed to take the UN capital at ZH, I did succeed in reducing my troop costs to damn near zero. Hell, my GN military wasn't gonna kill those RDs anyhow. But my wizards? That is a different story... Muwahahahaha

[kevindusi]

I suspect the Gnome has more gold to offer rewards for your head...

Ah yes, the GN is awash in gold. Plenty of wizards and a fine city...

In keeping with the bellicosity of the damnable UN - any kingdom who harms the UN or RD or simply provides information about these underhanded slumlords shall be justly rewarded.

The poor GN mistress - didn't ever promote one of them to Queen - that gave birth after the vile UN agent's visit is now a shunned outcast. You should see how ugly that child she gave birth to is. We gnomes take pride in being able to see in the dark and eat damn near anything, even tough, stringy red dragon meat. But that ugly, squalling UN infant isn't really good for anything. We would have thrown the useless thing away, but the wizards inform me that the child actually has the same blood as the UN king and will work perfectly for various incantations and the like.

Apparently the UN king, like his agents, will sleep with damn near anything. Keep your sheep in their pens, lords. Lock up those little troll girls. And I would bet that the foolish UN king would even sleep with those dirty elves.

While I failed to take the UN capital at ZH, I did succeed in reducing my troop costs to damn near zero. Hell, my GN military wasn't gonna kill those RDs anyhow. But my wizards? That is a different story... Muwahahahaha

Yes, the fireballs your "impressive" wizards threw against my city walls are sure to have many jumping to aid you. A failed assault and a lost capital... truly inspirational. Yet you look to others to help reap what you have sown. How dare you, sir!

[bluefile2]

I think u two ladies should hug it out.

[DuPont]

And I would bet that the foolish UN king would even sleep with those dirty elves

From the stout branches of our mighty and ancient trees, we piss on you with a golden rain.

[Loric]

a veritable hug fest...

[Jumbie]

Ah, so that explains the new moniker in the updated kingdom setups: "The High Elves of the Golden Wood."

[Lord Thanatos]

And I would bet that the foolish UN king would even sleep with those dirty elves

From the stout branches of our mighty and ancient trees, we piss on you with a golden rain.

Did I say "dirty elves?" I must have meant "dark elves."