Posts: 510
Threads: 3
Joined: Jul 2013
Reputation:
0
NE - All
The Necromancer palace is abuzz as the King has summoned his most senior commander in the field (rank of Captain). Quaking in fear the young former farmhand stands before the King in a rather ill fitting and blood stained uniform.
HabeesCorpus - Give me a report ... how goes the Pre-Emptive Defensive campaign against the Gnomes?
Captain LongShot - Not well my lord
HabeusCorpus - What has happened to Level 14 Gnome agent in our prisons?
Captain LongShot - Escaped my lord
HabeusCorpus - We have lost communication with 1st Necromancer for some time. Is there any news about their whereabouts?
Captain LongShot - Wiped out my lord....to a man...including the leadership, several artifacts and a wizard.
HabeusCorpus - This is not good .. did we bloody the enemy at least?
Captain LongShot - No my lord .. they were only phantoms. The enemy sustained no damage.
HabeusCorpus - We marshalled the considerable resources of the empire to lay a little surprise for our Gnome friends with a Fortress in his backyard. Did our move taken right from the works of Sun Tzu surprise the unsuspecting Gnome? "Self indulgent chuckles from the King"
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately the Fortress was quickly taken by the Gnome army...they currently occupy our Fortress. We held it for one turn only my lord.
HabeusCorpus- I am sure we made them pay for it in blood though correct?
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately between their magic and massed armies they were able to seize the fortress with very little bloodshed. Reports suggest only 6.77% attrition but even this was more than recouped by the long list of promotions that followed the battle.
HabeusCorpus - (Getting noticeably angrier) Well what the happened to our Wizards ... why are they not stepping up to defend the realm?
Captain Longshot - Several have been assassinated and one died in combat my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Security?
Captain Longshot - Weak my lord. The Gnome agents came and went like a shadow in the night.
HabeusCorpus - I am scared to ask ... all reports from the 5th Necromancer (pride of the empire) have ceased. Is there any news.
Captain Longshot - I am afraid it is not good my lord. They were caught out of position by the first Gnome army. It was horrible my lord. (Quiver in the Capitain's voice). Fireballs, earthquakes and tornadoes swept the battlefield. There were reports of body parts landing as far afield as Stormgate. Goblins stormed the field and caused havoc and chaos everywhere. As you know our Lord Commander previously died on the battlefield storming the Gnome capital (which they retook) so poor leadership added to the route. Everyone was lost my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Son...the 5th Necromancer was filled with our nation's finest, including Knights of the Styx. 19 brigades in all. Surely we made the Gnomes pay.
Captain Longshot - Unfortunately no my lord. The Gnomes fight like they are possessed and field some of the most powerful wizards Maelstrom has seen. Losses were negligible at 8.1%. We had men from a nearby village observing the battlefield and reported that the line up of Gnome soldiers and leaders receiving medals and promotions was never ending and they took hours to cycle through. My eyes bled reading the reports my lord. I must say, my lord, that at present the 1st Gnome army is significantly stronger then when we began our defensive campaign.
HabeusCorpus - And our gains?
Captain Longshot - Two villages my lord. We are sure the Gnomes go hungry and that many children are left hungry suckling on the wasted and withered bossums of their mother. We can hold our heads high that we have made the enemy pay dearly.
Captain Longshot's head abruptly leaves his neck as Habeus's sword cuts through the air.
Pacing the throne room he yells: "This is a debacle, this is humiliating. There are people across the lands with popcorn in their hands waiting for a "show" to start. It isn't a war movie, it isn't an action movie, it isn't even a drama ... it is the lowest of the low ... it is a romantic comedy at best. There are already whispers in the street about the title ... "Two Good Friends and a very short, very fat, white guy"
I need a Mentor ... I need a Mentor now! Send messengers to all the kingdoms across the land. Now!
Wait!!
Send a messenger to everyone BUT Tobias. Even the thought of that pompous self absorbed nitwit providing me with "advice" makes me want to vomit. Besides, he is probably too busy leading a village parade somewhere while his empire is starved and blasted to death with meteor strikes.
The sounds of anguish and frustration emanate throughout the palace.
(12-05-2019, 12:39 AM)The Painted Man Wrote: Sparklepants to Pirate,
Up for that trade this turn? Here's my proposal.
This turn: I give you 10k gold for 75k food.
Next turn: You give back 10k gold (minimum) for the Ruler Eliminator.
Please do let me know. Super excited.
(PI) Sounds good. You have a deal.
Oh, appears I'm too late. Alright then.
(12-05-2019, 05:26 AM)HabeusCorpus Wrote: NE - All
The Necromancer palace is abuzz as the King has summoned his most senior commander in the field (rank of Captain). Quaking in fear the young former farmhand stands before the King in a rather ill fitting and blood stained uniform.
HabeesCorpus - Give me a report ... how goes the Pre-Emptive Defensive campaign against the Gnomes?
Captain LongShot - Not well my lord
HabeusCorpus - What has happened to Level 14 Gnome agent in our prisons?
Captain LongShot - Escaped my lord
HabeusCorpus - We have lost communication with 1st Necromancer for some time. Is there any news about their whereabouts?
Captain LongShot - Wiped out my lord....to a man...including the leadership, several artifacts and a wizard.
HabeusCorpus - This is not good .. did we bloody the enemy at least?
Captain LongShot - No my lord .. they were only phantoms. The enemy sustained no damage.
HabeusCorpus - We marshalled the considerable resources of the empire to lay a little surprise for our Gnome friends with a Fortress in his backyard. Did our move taken right from the works of Sun Tzu surprise the unsuspecting Gnome? "Self indulgent chuckles from the King"
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately the Fortress was quickly taken by the Gnome army...they currently occupy our Fortress. We held it for one turn only my lord.
HabeusCorpus- I am sure we made them pay for it in blood though correct?
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately between their magic and massed armies they were able to seize the fortress with very little bloodshed. Reports suggest only 6.77% attrition but even this was more than recouped by the long list of promotions that followed the battle.
HabeusCorpus - (Getting noticeably angrier) Well what the happened to our Wizards ... why are they not stepping up to defend the realm?
Captain Longshot - Several have been assassinated and one died in combat my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Security?
Captain Longshot - Weak my lord. The Gnome agents came and went like a shadow in the night.
HabeusCorpus - I am scared to ask ... all reports from the 5th Necromancer (pride of the empire) have ceased. Is there any news.
Captain Longshot - I am afraid it is not good my lord. They were caught out of position by the first Gnome army. It was horrible my lord. (Quiver in the Capitain's voice). Fireballs, earthquakes and tornadoes swept the battlefield. There were reports of body parts landing as far afield as Stormgate. Goblins stormed the field and caused havoc and chaos everywhere. As you know our Lord Commander previously died on the battlefield storming the Gnome capital (which they retook) so poor leadership added to the route. Everyone was lost my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Son...the 5th Necromancer was filled with our nation's finest, including Knights of the Styx. 19 brigades in all. Surely we made the Gnomes pay.
Captain Longshot - Unfortunately no my lord. The Gnomes fight like they are possessed and field some of the most powerful wizards Maelstrom has seen. Losses were negligible at 8.1%. We had men from a nearby village observing the battlefield and reported that the line up of Gnome soldiers and leaders receiving medals and promotions was never ending and they took hours to cycle through. My eyes bled reading the reports my lord. I must say, my lord, that at present the 1st Gnome army is significantly stronger then when we began our defensive campaign.
HabeusCorpus - And our gains?
Captain Longshot - Two villages my lord. We are sure the Gnomes go hungry and that many children are left hungry suckling on the wasted and withered bossums of their mother. We can hold our heads high that we have made the enemy pay dearly.
Captain Longshot's head abruptly leaves his neck as Habeus's sword cuts through the air.
Pacing the throne room he yells: "This is a debacle, this is humiliating. There are people across the lands with popcorn in their hands waiting for a "show" to start. It isn't a war movie, it isn't an action movie, it isn't even a drama ... it is the lowest of the low ... it is a romantic comedy at best. There are already whispers in the street about the title ... "Two Good Friends and a very short, very fat, white guy"
I need a Mentor ... I need a Mentor now! Send messengers to all the kingdoms across the land. Now!
Wait!!
Send a messenger to everyone BUT Tobias. Even the thought of that pompous self absorbed nitwit providing me with "advice" makes me want to vomit. Besides, he is probably too busy leading a village parade somewhere while his empire is starved and blasted to death with meteor strikes.
The sounds of anguish and frustration emanate throughout the palace. (PI) I'll be happy to help you out in your next game if you like and I can.
Posts: 1,733
Threads: 14
Joined: Jan 2019
Reputation:
1
(12-05-2019, 02:20 PM)Acererak Wrote: (12-05-2019, 12:39 AM)The Painted Man Wrote: Sparklepants to Pirate,
Up for that trade this turn? Here's my proposal.
This turn: I give you 10k gold for 75k food.
Next turn: You give back 10k gold (minimum) for the Ruler Eliminator.
Please do let me know. Super excited.
(PI) Sounds good. You have a deal.
Oh, appears I'm too late. Alright then.
I'm sure I will need something else again soon, don't worry. Just wanted to finalize when I could.
Posts: 510
Threads: 3
Joined: Jul 2013
Reputation:
0
(12-05-2019, 02:32 PM)Acererak Wrote: (12-05-2019, 05:26 AM)HabeusCorpus Wrote: NE - All
The Necromancer palace is abuzz as the King has summoned his most senior commander in the field (rank of Captain). Quaking in fear the young former farmhand stands before the King in a rather ill fitting and blood stained uniform.
HabeesCorpus - Give me a report ... how goes the Pre-Emptive Defensive campaign against the Gnomes?
Captain LongShot - Not well my lord
HabeusCorpus - What has happened to Level 14 Gnome agent in our prisons?
Captain LongShot - Escaped my lord
HabeusCorpus - We have lost communication with 1st Necromancer for some time. Is there any news about their whereabouts?
Captain LongShot - Wiped out my lord....to a man...including the leadership, several artifacts and a wizard.
HabeusCorpus - This is not good .. did we bloody the enemy at least?
Captain LongShot - No my lord .. they were only phantoms. The enemy sustained no damage.
HabeusCorpus - We marshalled the considerable resources of the empire to lay a little surprise for our Gnome friends with a Fortress in his backyard. Did our move taken right from the works of Sun Tzu surprise the unsuspecting Gnome? "Self indulgent chuckles from the King"
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately the Fortress was quickly taken by the Gnome army...they currently occupy our Fortress. We held it for one turn only my lord.
HabeusCorpus- I am sure we made them pay for it in blood though correct?
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately between their magic and massed armies they were able to seize the fortress with very little bloodshed. Reports suggest only 6.77% attrition but even this was more than recouped by the long list of promotions that followed the battle.
HabeusCorpus - (Getting noticeably angrier) Well what the happened to our Wizards ... why are they not stepping up to defend the realm?
Captain Longshot - Several have been assassinated and one died in combat my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Security?
Captain Longshot - Weak my lord. The Gnome agents came and went like a shadow in the night.
HabeusCorpus - I am scared to ask ... all reports from the 5th Necromancer (pride of the empire) have ceased. Is there any news.
Captain Longshot - I am afraid it is not good my lord. They were caught out of position by the first Gnome army. It was horrible my lord. (Quiver in the Capitain's voice). Fireballs, earthquakes and tornadoes swept the battlefield. There were reports of body parts landing as far afield as Stormgate. Goblins stormed the field and caused havoc and chaos everywhere. As you know our Lord Commander previously died on the battlefield storming the Gnome capital (which they retook) so poor leadership added to the route. Everyone was lost my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Son...the 5th Necromancer was filled with our nation's finest, including Knights of the Styx. 19 brigades in all. Surely we made the Gnomes pay.
Captain Longshot - Unfortunately no my lord. The Gnomes fight like they are possessed and field some of the most powerful wizards Maelstrom has seen. Losses were negligible at 8.1%. We had men from a nearby village observing the battlefield and reported that the line up of Gnome soldiers and leaders receiving medals and promotions was never ending and they took hours to cycle through. My eyes bled reading the reports my lord. I must say, my lord, that at present the 1st Gnome army is significantly stronger then when we began our defensive campaign.
HabeusCorpus - And our gains?
Captain Longshot - Two villages my lord. We are sure the Gnomes go hungry and that many children are left hungry suckling on the wasted and withered bossums of their mother. We can hold our heads high that we have made the enemy pay dearly.
Captain Longshot's head abruptly leaves his neck as Habeus's sword cuts through the air.
Pacing the throne room he yells: "This is a debacle, this is humiliating. There are people across the lands with popcorn in their hands waiting for a "show" to start. It isn't a war movie, it isn't an action movie, it isn't even a drama ... it is the lowest of the low ... it is a romantic comedy at best. There are already whispers in the street about the title ... "Two Good Friends and a very short, very fat, white guy"
I need a Mentor ... I need a Mentor now! Send messengers to all the kingdoms across the land. Now!
Wait!!
Send a messenger to everyone BUT Tobias. Even the thought of that pompous self absorbed nitwit providing me with "advice" makes me want to vomit. Besides, he is probably too busy leading a village parade somewhere while his empire is starved and blasted to death with meteor strikes.
The sounds of anguish and frustration emanate throughout the palace. (PI) I'll be happy to help you out in your next game if you like and I can.
(NE) This game would be better friend. 
Posts: 510
Threads: 3
Joined: Jul 2013
Reputation:
0
NE-BL
I am disappointed by you not following through on your promised trade. Wasted an order and have a potential broken promise on my hands. Do you intend to honor your agreements?
HabeusCorpus
Posts: 510
Threads: 3
Joined: Jul 2013
Reputation:
0
NE - GN
Peace? We should stop this senseless bloodshed while the AM run away with this game. We should "bury the hatchet" and not just in my head. As an added inducement, I will call you Uncle with a capital U for the rest of the game.
HabeusCorpus
Posts: 2,197
Threads: 111
Joined: Mar 2013
Reputation:
23
(12-06-2019, 12:51 PM)HabeusCorpus Wrote: NE - GN
Peace? We should stop this senseless bloodshed while the AM run away with this game. We should "bury the hatchet" and not just in my head. As an added inducement, I will call you Uncle with a capital U for the rest of the game.
HabeusCorpus
GN - NE
Jeez, your emissary sure does talk a lot! And I thought my gnomish wife would never stop her yapping...
Fine, I'll leave you alone for a while but it can't be for a lengthy period (see original post of no non-aggression pacts for this particular game: http://www.kingdomsofarcania.net/forum/s...7#pid63547).
But this temporary truce only applies to your holdings in Krynn, not elsewhere. Now, you may carry on regarding how great and wonderful smelling the gnomish king is while visiting your region.
Posts: 1,769
Threads: 107
Joined: Apr 2019
Reputation:
38
(12-05-2019, 05:26 AM)HabeusCorpus Wrote: NE - All
The Necromancer palace is abuzz as the King has summoned his most senior commander in the field (rank of Captain). Quaking in fear the young former farmhand stands before the King in a rather ill fitting and blood stained uniform.
HabeesCorpus - Give me a report ... how goes the Pre-Emptive Defensive campaign against the Gnomes?
Captain LongShot - Not well my lord
HabeusCorpus - What has happened to Level 14 Gnome agent in our prisons?
Captain LongShot - Escaped my lord
HabeusCorpus - We have lost communication with 1st Necromancer for some time. Is there any news about their whereabouts?
Captain LongShot - Wiped out my lord....to a man...including the leadership, several artifacts and a wizard.
HabeusCorpus - This is not good .. did we bloody the enemy at least?
Captain LongShot - No my lord .. they were only phantoms. The enemy sustained no damage.
HabeusCorpus - We marshalled the considerable resources of the empire to lay a little surprise for our Gnome friends with a Fortress in his backyard. Did our move taken right from the works of Sun Tzu surprise the unsuspecting Gnome? "Self indulgent chuckles from the King"
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately the Fortress was quickly taken by the Gnome army...they currently occupy our Fortress. We held it for one turn only my lord.
HabeusCorpus- I am sure we made them pay for it in blood though correct?
Captain LongShot - No my lord. Unfortunately between their magic and massed armies they were able to seize the fortress with very little bloodshed. Reports suggest only 6.77% attrition but even this was more than recouped by the long list of promotions that followed the battle.
HabeusCorpus - (Getting noticeably angrier) Well what the happened to our Wizards ... why are they not stepping up to defend the realm?
Captain Longshot - Several have been assassinated and one died in combat my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Security?
Captain Longshot - Weak my lord. The Gnome agents came and went like a shadow in the night.
HabeusCorpus - I am scared to ask ... all reports from the 5th Necromancer (pride of the empire) have ceased. Is there any news.
Captain Longshot - I am afraid it is not good my lord. They were caught out of position by the first Gnome army. It was horrible my lord. (Quiver in the Capitain's voice). Fireballs, earthquakes and tornadoes swept the battlefield. There were reports of body parts landing as far afield as Stormgate. Goblins stormed the field and caused havoc and chaos everywhere. As you know our Lord Commander previously died on the battlefield storming the Gnome capital (which they retook) so poor leadership added to the route. Everyone was lost my Lord.
HabeusCorpus - Son...the 5th Necromancer was filled with our nation's finest, including Knights of the Styx. 19 brigades in all. Surely we made the Gnomes pay.
Captain Longshot - Unfortunately no my lord. The Gnomes fight like they are possessed and field some of the most powerful wizards Maelstrom has seen. Losses were negligible at 8.1%. We had men from a nearby village observing the battlefield and reported that the line up of Gnome soldiers and leaders receiving medals and promotions was never ending and they took hours to cycle through. My eyes bled reading the reports my lord. I must say, my lord, that at present the 1st Gnome army is significantly stronger then when we began our defensive campaign.
HabeusCorpus - And our gains?
Captain Longshot - Two villages my lord. We are sure the Gnomes go hungry and that many children are left hungry suckling on the wasted and withered bossums of their mother. We can hold our heads high that we have made the enemy pay dearly.
Captain Longshot's head abruptly leaves his neck as Habeus's sword cuts through the air.
Pacing the throne room he yells: "This is a debacle, this is humiliating. There are people across the lands with popcorn in their hands waiting for a "show" to start. It isn't a war movie, it isn't an action movie, it isn't even a drama ... it is the lowest of the low ... it is a romantic comedy at best. There are already whispers in the street about the title ... "Two Good Friends and a very short, very fat, white guy"
I need a Mentor ... I need a Mentor now! Send messengers to all the kingdoms across the land. Now!
Wait!!
Send a messenger to everyone BUT Tobias. Even the thought of that pompous self absorbed nitwit providing me with "advice" makes me want to vomit. Besides, he is probably too busy leading a village parade somewhere while his empire is starved and blasted to death with meteor strikes.
The sounds of anguish and frustration emanate throughout the palace.
Nice write up, fun to read
Posts: 5,613
Threads: 619
Joined: Feb 2012
Reputation:
6
Yes, thanks for that fun write up, H.C.
|
Buddy/Ignore List
